Killogram "okay" with new shorts

After receiving a gift card for use at the department store Dillard's, Killogram braved a mall last night in search of new shorts.

"I'm not really sure what happened to all my old shorts, but I can only find 2 pair. This happens every year; it's like my shorts just up and walk away. It's ridiculous!", a befuddled Killogram was overheard saying outside a Saint Louis Shopping Center.

After a grueling 30 minute shopping frenzy, Killogram emerged from the structure with 3 new pairs of shirts, some Phat Farm loungewear and a couple of Roca Wear shirts.

Killogram shrugging afterwards comments on the shopping experience, "I think it was a successful trip, I dunno. I'm not big on department stores and all, but I'm okay with the stuff I got. I got what I had to get and now I'm leaving...excuse me!"

"I couldn't believe it when he came in the store", exclaimed Lindsey Joyce. "I was just folding some Levi's and I look up and...I almost fainted! He was a perfect gentleman, just like I thought he would be. He took some stuff and went into a dressing room. Wait until I tell my friends, they will never believe this!"

When asked about how he know felt about last years shorts Killogram replied, "F**k them, I know I put them in the drawer. Who knows where they are? I don't have the time to waste looking for them right now. Maybe they will turn up, maybe they won't. I've moved on. I have new summer stuff to worry about now."

Killogram opted not to disclose his total purchase price claiming that "It almost all fit on the gift card".